It seems like a lot we do as parents when we need something done by our kids is bribing. If they do this one thing for mommy, they can have this. We all try to avoid it, after all our kids should do what we say to do not what we convince them of. Unfortunately, at the age of two and three, a lot of bribing happens.
Let me say first that I keep a stock of Gerber Graduates Puffs. They're softer than cereal and are easier for smaller children to eat (they dissolve in your mouth). Puffs come in a variety of flavors, are relatively cheap, and can be found almost any store. My two year old loves to eat his little brothers puffs. He also likes making messes. Yesterday he emptied an entire container of puffs on the kitchen table while his brother emptied his tray of cereal on the floor. When I told Riley to pick up his puffs off the table he proceeded to pick up exactly two puffs, put them back in the container, and then tell me, "that's all you get." I was shocked, I have NO idea where he got that from, but I don't ever remember saying it. I ended up bribing him to clean up his puffs off the table by allowing him to use the broom to sweep up the mess on the floor, a win/win for me, and a win/lose for him.
While compromise is good, it really got me thinking about all the things we have to do to get our kids doing things. When it's naptime and he won't lay down, "if you take a nap, when you wake up we can go to the park." When it's dinner time, "if you eat your chicken, i'll give you more macaroni." Who isn't willing to cooperate when they feel they get something out of it? I wonder though how much it's affecting him, because these days, I find him haggling with me, "I will eat two more bites if you get me down."
Currently, we are working on potty training. Riles knows when he has to go. He tells me either RIGHT before he has to go or while he's doing it so we moved on to pull ups and potty training. Though we haven't been totally successful, he enjoys going because of the reward. Originally, we used candy and sweet rewards: jelly beans, Reeses, M&M minis, then I got concerned that once he got more consistent with using the potty I'd have one REALLY sugared up toddler on my hands. So we started the sticker book:
It's really simple, instead of bribing him with rewards of candy and sweets, if he goes potty he gets to pick out one sticker and put it on the page. He absolutely loves this. We collect cool stickers if we find them and bring them home for the next time he is successful on the potty. If he goes number two, we add a quarter to his piggy bank, and my kid definitely has a small fixation with money.
Let me say first that I keep a stock of Gerber Graduates Puffs. They're softer than cereal and are easier for smaller children to eat (they dissolve in your mouth). Puffs come in a variety of flavors, are relatively cheap, and can be found almost any store. My two year old loves to eat his little brothers puffs. He also likes making messes. Yesterday he emptied an entire container of puffs on the kitchen table while his brother emptied his tray of cereal on the floor. When I told Riley to pick up his puffs off the table he proceeded to pick up exactly two puffs, put them back in the container, and then tell me, "that's all you get." I was shocked, I have NO idea where he got that from, but I don't ever remember saying it. I ended up bribing him to clean up his puffs off the table by allowing him to use the broom to sweep up the mess on the floor, a win/win for me, and a win/lose for him.
While compromise is good, it really got me thinking about all the things we have to do to get our kids doing things. When it's naptime and he won't lay down, "if you take a nap, when you wake up we can go to the park." When it's dinner time, "if you eat your chicken, i'll give you more macaroni." Who isn't willing to cooperate when they feel they get something out of it? I wonder though how much it's affecting him, because these days, I find him haggling with me, "I will eat two more bites if you get me down."
Currently, we are working on potty training. Riles knows when he has to go. He tells me either RIGHT before he has to go or while he's doing it so we moved on to pull ups and potty training. Though we haven't been totally successful, he enjoys going because of the reward. Originally, we used candy and sweet rewards: jelly beans, Reeses, M&M minis, then I got concerned that once he got more consistent with using the potty I'd have one REALLY sugared up toddler on my hands. So we started the sticker book:
In the end we all end up bribing our children and try to call it compromise or an arrangement. The truth is, we want to get the babies on the participation train willingly. I have found one way of getting children to do things without an end reward is to ask if they want to help. Instead of asking your three year old to clean up his toys you can approach the situation as if you planned to do it all along, "Would you like to help mommy clean up your toys?" Success rate, very high, learning toddlers love a chance to help.
So I pose the question to all of you, how do you get your children to do the things they don't want to do? Be honest, there aren't too many wrong answers here, everyone has a different parenting technique.
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